Living in the Short North I always see some really stylish moms. They shop at the local boutiques, hair always kept nicely, keep up with the latest fashion trends that are appropriate for their age. Basically the mom that your guy friends always check out. These women would be called "COUGARS". The other day I went to Easton Mall and I was so confused. Every single mom shopping looked exactly the same. And not in a good way. Every ladies style looked like Talbots threw up on them. These women I like to call "Soccer Moms." Lets break down the style shall we?

THE MINI VAN

A woman isn't a soccer mom until she owns a mini van. It is a perfect size to fit her kids with all their sporting goods or to take them to the schools field trip.











THE HAIR

Where do I even begin to explain my hatred against this hairstyle? We could start off by discussing the shitty highlights done from a box? Or the over load of hairspray making her hair look crunchy? Or maybe the ugly hair flip at the end? Either way, it's all hideous and any hairstylist that has done this to a poor woman should hand over their licensce and find a new profession immediately.











UGLY PRINTED BLOUSES

Ew.



















THE MOM JEANS

These jeans are worn by every single soccer mom known in history. It is probably the worse trend that has lasted waaaaay too long. And the thing that I don't get is that it is worn by a woman any shape or size and no matter the figure.. it is unflattering on EVERY WOMAN. So why haven't these jeans died yet?











SHOES MADE FOR COMFORT

Every person likes to wear comfortable shoes I get it. But that doesn't mean you have to go out to kmart and buy the ugliest sneakers or flats ever made. The best part is when ladies buy flats like these and wear their holiday socks too..















AND LASTLY.. THE GRANDMA BAG

I really want to find the actual woman Vera Bradley and smack her in the face. She has made millions off of these grandma quilted bags and it is such a shame. I don't get it? There is nothing cute about these bags yet every Gahanna mom owns one. Wait till I meet this lady..